holding onto anger and the art of burning bridges

Now let me tell you something, when you burn your bridge, you don’t just burn it.

For a small bridge, I’d soak it with benzene then stick at least fifteen lbs of TNT on each end of the bridge. Then I’d press the button and watch the spectacle as I sit down and eat a cinnamon roll. Or two.

I’d stand close so I could feel the heat of the blaze and the deafening sound of explosion and the windy blow of dust and debris would kiss my face.

I’d completely annihilate other sub-bridges that branch out from that main bridge.

Here’s the tricky part: don’t go on and pretend like it didn’t happen. No. The other person (or people) at the end of the bridge(s) will notice. They will send messages. “You haven’t visited in a long while,” or, “We miss you,” or, “What the hell happened to the bridge? I thought we could remain friends.”

But it’s your choice. It’s your choice to answer them (if they ever ask questions) or to ignore them.

If the person(s) at the end of the bridge do(es) not care, then your heart will fester in anger and in pain.

Do not let that anger and pain go. They are not poison. Keep them within you. Harness their energy. Use it to fuel yourself. No energy is bad energy, unless you use it to destroy yourself. Destroying others is fine, but you’ll need to learn of the consequence. Calculate. Is it worth it?

If you think you’ve burn that bridge and yet you still feel that anger and pain and yet you believe you don’t want the person(s) at the end of that bridge to care, then it can only mean one thing: regret.

You should’ve detonated the bridge with more glory. With more power. More TNT. More fire.

You wish you could’ve built it again and destroyed it again and again and perhaps, perhaps tie that other person(s) on that bridge and watch as they burn while you eat that cinnamon roll and make a toast for life. Ha. A toast.

Still, whatever you do, hold on to that anger. Hold on to that pain. Releasing them is useless if you can’t. But remember, use that energy for your own good.

Now go and listen to Alanis Morrissette’s Jagged Little Pill.

a matter of the heart

“When you give someone your whole heart and he doesn’t want it, you cannot take it back. It’s gone forever.”
– Sylvia Plath (as told by Elizabeth Sigmund)

If that’s too bitter for you, here’s one of Sylvia Plath’s drawings. Curious French Cat by Sylvia Plath

murmurs of beauty

Quote

“I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privileged to live their lives with an actual demon, so long as it was a beautiful demon.”

– Sayuri (from Arthur Golden’s novel, Memoirs of a Geisha)