look to this day

Is it worth it? Is the future worth destroying your present? Do you even have a present?

The present slips by every second. Even when I’m putting my thoughts together, even when I’m pondering what the next sentence will be, I’ll have consumed more than thirty seconds. Probably a minute. I’m a slow thinker. Then there’s the editing, the revising, the deleting and adding. The afterthoughts.

Perhaps that’s why I dwell in the future. Because it’s something that’s still so far away. Something to look forward to. Although it gets closer with every pressed key, every taken step, every sunset and sunrise and change of month. It gets closer and I push it away, until future becomes past and past becomes regret.

Maybe what I desire is not power, or fame, or even love that’s reciprocated.

Maybe what I desire is time. More time. But for what? So I can have more to look forward to?

If I am never going to achieve things that I look forward to, will time matter? What about the afterthoughts?



spew on me

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