Get the reddest of hearts and slice them apart to quarters.*
Drop two spoons of acid.**
You like it sugarcoated? Suit yourself.***
Milk it. ****
Set it to pulverize and hello, breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner. Or whenever.
This is not vegan.
* Use strawberries. Not real hearts. If you really want to, use your enemies’.
** I use apple cider vinegar.
*** Honey (told you it wasn’t vegan) however much you want it.
**** Unsweetened almond milk.